There I was, taking a knee.
In the dark.
Kneeling in the tall grass on the way back to the truck.
My initial thought to myself, “You’re getting old Dave.”
I was loaded down with a 15′ hunting stand, a bow, a deer decoy, and a backpack.
Kneeling… to take a breather.
I was hunting a 40 acre parcel, and was hunting one side, and parked on the other. So… not a huge piece of land, but it was… uphill… on the way back to the truck.
The other thought that came to mind was an old movie line, said by Harry Calahan, for you younger readers, Harry Calahan is a Clint Eastwood character, “Dirty Harry” they called him, he said in Magnum Force, circa 1973…
“A man’s got to know his limitations.”
That line has always stuck with me.
It comes to mind for me quite often… as I’m always wondering what my limitations really are.
I’m learning… what my personal constitution is made of. Preamble and all.
We all need, I believe, to explore who we are, and what our constitution is made of.
As I continue to grow and understand myself, one attribute that I have, was very evident on that tired walk out of the deer woods.
I’m not sure, exactly, what word to use… dedication; perseverance; determined; stubbornness; or a Badger like focus?
When I stood back up from taking that knee, which, to be honest, was like my third time stopping walking up that hill, I said to myself, “Get to the truck!” And I started taking deliberate steps.
Something clicks in my mind when I flip that switch to “off”.
But I know I have that switch now.
The reason I had to employ that particular attribute that night was for the simple fact… I was physically gassed!
My youngest son, who I’ve been hunting with this last week or so, chimed in, “Go easy on yourself. You were sick, you hurt your back. You haven’t been able to work out. And look… where do you think you would have been if you hadn’t spent time this year getting stronger?”
He’s always been a wise one.
Then as kids, at least my kids, are want to do, he chirps in a capper, “And you know… your over fifty now, you gotta start accounting for that.”
Ha ha.
As I progress with my mental strength training, my emotional intelligence studies, strength training, archery, working the ol’ “day job”… and continuing to learn about this writing gig… yeah, I guess testing a constitution needs to happen, you need to come to the end of yourself at some point to “know your limitations”.
If only to then know… you can push your limit line… out a little bit further.
OR… OR… use that limit line to know when to throttle back… IF… IF… you need to.
The reason I was able to even be in that field, in the dark, after having a great sit in the woods that day… was because when I was sick… when I did pull that rib muscle in my back…
I throttled back… because I do know what my limits are… to a degree, and that helped me recover both times.
I don’t think I’m one of these guys that promotes, “GO GO GO all the time, sick? Walk it off!”
That’s not real life.
Life is long… hopefully… usually… so you need to be in a position to be able to show up… at length. Over the long haul.
Think about it.
A week of being sick, staying home and taking care of yourself, is a tiny blip, on your life radar.
I didn’t use to think that way. I used to beat myself up about not being man enough to just “Gitter done!”
ALL THE TIME.
But now… I have an opportunity to apply what I’ve learned about exercise… and adjust my exercise routine to help me be in a little better shape for my hobbies.
And to continue to work on my initial mental response to my particular “life happens” issues… like when you have to take a knee… in the dark… because you are carrying a personal load.
Rich Engle says
Thank you Dave for your wonderful honesty and encouragement today.
You are not alone….I too am on the journey of my next season of life…serving my family… my Lord and Savior….and taking better care of myself.
You are loved and appreciated Dave.
Dave Bosquez says
Thanks Rich.