Ever hear that line used in a movie or t.v. show, “Do you validate?”
They are usually asking about their parking stub, “Do you validate… parking?”
In that sense it’s used as an acknowledgement of the usage of the parking spot. The person is given legal authorization to park there by punching your ticket.
I was misunderstanding the word.
Validation; Validate; Valid
When you search out success you run across a plethora of well meaning folks who encourage you and say, “do not look for others validation of you and your success.”
My question was, “Then how do we know we’re going the right way if someone doesn’t tell us?”
I thought about that for a minute.
I came to the conclusion that, “If my goals are set, and I meet my goals… am I not validated?”
Here comes the definition… courtesy of Merriam-Webster online
transitive verb 1a: to make legally valid: ratify b: to grant official sanction to by marking validated her passport c: to confirm the validity of (an election) also: to declare (a person) elected
2a: to support or corroborate on a sound or authoritative basis experiments designed to validate the hypothesis b: to recognize, establish, or illustrate the worthiness or legitimacy of (a person, place, or thing) “to validate his concerns”
I believe I have identified my personal development gap.
If we go back farther and look at the etymology I can clearly see where the gap is occurring…
Validating – See Valid
Valid – 1570s, “having force in law, legally binding,” from Middle French valide (16c.), from Latin validus “strong, effective, powerful, active,” from valere “be strong” (from PIE root *wal- “to be strong”). The meaning “sufficiently supported by facts or authority, well-grounded” is first recorded 1640s. Courtesy of Online Etymology Dictionary
When we are young, critically, before the age of seven years old, we need to be made strong by our primary care givers.
For me I had a mom and dad. Like the old Merle Haggard song says, Momma Tried, but… my dad fell short on his parental duties as far as making me to “be strong,” especially mentally.
I now know he had mental, and physical illness struggles of his own, that he did not manage well, if at all, for quite a few years… but just to take care of those caused stress for him because of his financial situation… when you “don’t have a pot to piss in,” it’s kinda hard to send in a sample.
If God has a plan for each of us then I have to believe my parents were chosen for a purpose.
Like I said, Momma Tried, and I love her dearly for that, but there are things a boy needs to receive from his dad.
Because of my personal experience, my own children grew up with a dad that saw everything as a teachable moment.
Who had a dad that was very “present” using today’s vernacular. So much so that they are good being on their own now, because they know… with absolute certainty, that they can come home and take a nap, if, and when, they need to. I may be gone grouse huntin’, but they know I’ll be home directly.
They have been given the power, they have been made strong, by me, (and their mom) validating them at the right time in their lives… and they are thriving!
But what about us adults who are working on ourselves? Trying to salvage a bit of success from an otherwise unsuccessful (in our own eyes) life up to this point.
We can’t get an “atta boy” from our old man. And other adults who are positive with encouragement, are few and far between.
I think that’s why they call it “PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.”
You are developing yourself, you have to discover your own self worth, you have to develop the confidence to identify and validate that work that you can do that will make a difference in yourself and your personal growth, that will allow you to see what is important to you.
It has to matter to you, for you to validate it yourself… through some sort of means.
I use archery analogies in my writing. “Chase the arrow,” right? Small incremental changes in our behavior will keep us on the path of success.
As far as levels of mastery, or skill with a bow, I would catalog myself as still being an apprentice… I would say, if you asked me, “Yeah, I can shoot a bow.”
I have the skill to hit a very small target, consistently, and I understand the tools and equipment, I put in daily practice… all I need now is the experience in the deer woods, and maybe joining a weekly league, to reach the next level of success of being a Journeyman, and then more years, and more experience to be a possible Master.
All because the arrow… not my dad, not you, not even the archery shop guys, has validated the fact that I can shoot a bow.
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