As I endeavor to become a man and a definite dad I get to research topics as they pop into my head as I mosey down the Journey Road of Life.
In my last article I wrote about being at the Crossroads. More specifically the intersection of Life’s Road and Decision St.
I have two ways I can go… press on with The Emerging Man brand, and project, or switch gears and train all guns onto the Definite Dad brand, book, website and project goals.
Along with a bout of writers block for The Emerging Man, which is odd for me, is another feeling. At first it felt like I was pressing through sticky saran wrap, pressing through face first, like in one of those alien movies. It made me look at my views on my manhood.
As I was reading different articles a flash of an old movie came to mind. No, not Casablanca old, 1980’s old. It was called ‘Clan of the Cave Bear’ starring Daryl Hannah.
As I researched the part of the script I was remembering, I found out the movie was based off of a successful book series by Jean M. Auel. ~ Wikipedia
The gist of the story is that Daryl Hannah plays a character that is of a different clan than her own. Apparently she is Cro-Magnon and the tribe that takes her in is of Neanderthal origin.
Each clan and people have built in memories. As she is not a Neanderthal she struggles to fit in and at first appears stupid.
When she gives birth to a male child, she (in the voice over) explains how she can tell he has ‘the clan memories.’
I don’t feel like a man because on some level I don’t have the same ‘clan memories’ as other men I run into. I just don’t think like most other men I meet.
I’m not really a gear head… even though I can work on a car, I’m definitely not a carpenter, I’m not a crazy Packer fan, and I don’t bluff and bluster during a confrontation, and I’m not very aggressive.
I never felt like I fit in as a man.
As I researched… retained memory, family traits, even how DNA can be altered by the stress of poverty I am convinced I lack some common history with other men.
Some of it, I know, pertains to common skills… like working on the house, and now that I have time to do that I am learning what it takes to perform the upkeep on a house. (just propped up a front porch)
Other things like aggressiveness I notice I just perform it differently. Usually my experience has been an aggressive man has to keep ramping things up to scare people over to his point of view. That never worked with me and so they wouldn’t know what to do next. I would rather discuss and come to a conclusion… it’s not that hard.
We carry over disease tendencies like alcoholism and diabetes. I believe our family lines can carry latent memories, talents and trauma’s (my grandpa played music, my brother, cousin and uncle played music and my second son is quite the musician himself) how those shared memories enter and are retained in a family, clan or tribe is beyond me.
I know I don’t relate as a man with my dad… BUT…
I am my mother’s son.