“Quick, Hide!”

I’ve had a full week this week. Having a week full of a few lows, a couple middles, and 1 or 2 highs.

But the hi-lite for me was experiencing something I haven’t experienced since I was a small child.

I find it intriguing, how, in an attempt to protect us as adults, our brain actually tries to put us into a position we haven’t been in since childhood. And because we are now adults… that response could be… disastrous.

“Quick, Hide!” being my lesson of the week.

When I was real young my folks would fight; as I got a little older my brothers hit their teen years, then it was my dad taking after one or more of them… or my older sister and her husband.

Being small, my reaction was… “Quick, Hide!”

Worked too.

As I got a little bigger, it wasn’t just my mom and dad fighting that would “make my stomach hurt,” sometimes it would be a bus driver; or an older kid on the bus picking on me; or a teacher or other adult shaming me for whatever reason.

What I think is funny about those situations is, I didn’t want to tell my mom or dad how bad I was getting picked on, or how the teacher made me feel because I thought… “Cripes, if my dad fights with my mom like that over dirty socks, what would he do to that older kid or teacher?”

That thought would scare me even more, and I would freeze up… even more… and it would make me “Quick, Hide!”

Like the time I hid behind one of those fenced in, electric transformers, instead of getting on the bus to go to school.

Only problem being… now I gotta sneak home somehow!?! I was in the second grade.

This week…

it happened while I was going through some new training.

I was struggling mentally, trying to “catch up” to the machines.

I was employing my mental fortitude exercises; employing my breathing exercises to manage my anxiousness; being very aware that I had to slow my mind down in order for my hands to catch up.

But at a relatively calm, and familiar spot in the routine, it happened. Very quickly.

That funny feeling in the pit of my stomach “sprang out,” like a scared chipmunk… darting from a bird feeder and heading for his hole!

just like when I was a small child.

My mind said, “Quick, Hide!”

It took me by surprise.

My breathing fell apart; I couldn’t focus for a minute; I blanked out on my training steps, having to stop and check my notes.

I said to myself, “No, you can’t hide. That’s immature and childish. Nobody is fighting. There is nothing to worry about. You just can’t accept the fact that this job is a little fast for you right now… but you “know” how you learn, it’s only been a few training days, calm down, breathe. Take a minute and really try to pinpoint why you want to run away.”

Is it shame; are you feeling inept; do you look… stupid?

No one but myself was laying any of those things on me.

At one point my brain wouldn’t even do simple math. The answer was 203; I kept writing 213; a young guy I work with said, “Are you sure that’s right?”

Yep. Even double checked my math.

“I don’t think that’s right.”

Triple check. Slower. I knew the answer was 203. But my double check; both times; I wrote 213. What the heck!!

I’m sure glad God takes care of us by sending us others!

It was just weird.

My takeaway is, that during the whole process of coming unglued, I was aware of it, mentally and physically, and trying to apply what I’ve been studying to my daily life… I just couldn’t quite get there.

Fast forward to a “blessing service” I was asked to pastor for at the end of the week.

You would think handling something as important as that would have me just as nervous, if not more so, than just learning a new job… but… it was the total opposite.

As soon as I was asked to do the memorial blessing, boom! the book of Joshua came to mind. I spent a week or so reading chapter 4. It fit perfectly.

I didn’t put anything together right away, as a write up, not until the morning… of the day of.

And employing some advice I received from one of my sons when we did a wedding together; he was the music; and I was the pastor… he said, “Hey Davey, just write the script, and stick to the script, don’t get all cute trying to improvise on the fly, that never works.”

So I sat down; re-read Joshua 4:1-7, found Proverbs 3:3-4; used the setting of the blessing to speak from the heart to those in attendance; and had, what I thought was a very good “picture” of the person who the memorial was for.

It just flowed.

But I did have an Ace up my sleeve.

Being in Gods Word for so long now, I just kept thinking of this verse…

“On My account, you will be brought before governors and kings as witnesses to them and to the Gentiles. 19But when they hand you over, do not worry about how to respond or what to say. In that hour you will be given what to say. 20For it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.…” ~ Matthew 10:18-20

I gotta tell ya’… that’s mighty comforting to know.

So in the same week I went from feeling scared, like a little kid wanting to “Quick Hide” from everybody, just because of some new work I was asked to learn… to being elated, standing in front of just less than a hundred people, by watching the power of Gods Word work… both… in those in attendance… when you have some bikers crying for their friend at a simple memorial, over a beautiful bench people donated for him, you can just see Gods Word working… to myself… watching Him work through me, calming me down after a bad week… and making me feel like an adult for once.

Funny, when I only rely on myself, and worry about looking stupid… I actually look stupid… but when I rely on God He just fills me up with this kind of confidence that is very hard to describe.

I’ve learned, God doesn’t ask a child to do a mans work, He raises a man up, places him in the gap that needs filling, and provides him with… not only what he needs to do the job… but what those who may hear His Word need also.

Now… if He’ll just teach me how to do simple math… again.