My brother pulled up and I hopped in.
The ride down to my cousins house was quiet, we talked a bit but not about anything. My brother is older than me and has lots of good memories of our uncle.
In his quiet words, “Another one of my links to the past… gone.”
What he was thinking though I bet was another link lost connecting him to our dad.
There are two things I do when I think of my uncle Lorenzo; smile; and think of my dad. They really got along well and loved each other and when I think of one I think of the other and when I do that I smile because when I was little and around the both of them they would make me laugh so hard my guts would hurt.
My wife and kids were really worried about me, right away. They knew how much I loved Lorenzo. But I wasn’t crushed like I thought I would be. I was actually very aware and mellow. I was worried for my aunt and my cousins. Yes, I lost my uncle and a good one at that but they lost a husband, a father and my cousins kids lost their grandfather.
My cousins house was a perfect place to talk to the family. His wife has done a nice job decorating and painting and the house has a very comfy, cozy feel to it with all the rich browns, chocolates and caramel colors used.
We gathered around the table amid hugs and tears, lots of tears and my cousins wife was doing a good job of being the host and everybody was made to feel comfortable and at ease as much as possible.
As it was very sudden my brother and I asked if they knew what happened. “He was gone by the time paramedics arrived”, they said, so we all assume it was heart failure of some kind.
As we sat at the table talking the fact that they just lost a husband, father and grandfather really struck me and after having a sip of my coffee I shared my feelings with the family and gently reminded them I had been through this scenario more than a few times now, I think that was why I was feeling calm, my experience could help someone now.
It was too early to be making any decisions but aunt Rose had some ideas, the kids had some ideas and so as a small voice of reason I offered my services as a minister if they would need or want me to officiate the funeral, to try and take one thing off of their plate so to speak.
I am so glad I offered to do it.
This year as an officiating minister I have done three weddings and now two funerals.
Putting together my uncles service proved to be a bit of, I don’t want to say struggle or hard or any other negative remark because it wasn’t that, I was getting stuck on having it be ‘correct’ for Lorenzo.
I would end up learning why…