This helped me to understand now as an adult how to process through my damaged thinking concerning the abuse I went through when I was so little.
“A first step to recovery, then, is to examine, challenge, and change these old ways of thinking about trauma.
The goal of sorting through the lies of the mind is to learn to take the abuse less personally, and thereby to feel safer.
By looking back, the powerful adult mind can more objectively measure the powerlessness of the traumatized child.
A survivor can not fully live in the present until he or she has the past in perspective.
There are 3 iron clad rules in an abusive household:
Don’t talk, Don’t trust, Don’t feel.”Â
I wrote this as a note to myself after studying this writing,
“The other day my sin landed a body shot. Right into my solar plexus, right in the pit of my stomach.
I felt it near.
Saw it coming.
And yet still let it just happen.
Frozen……. by what?
I’m big now why didn’t I fight back?
I’m always looking for a glorious battle, but really am I just a coward?
Then I just checked out and let it land.
Life itself is a struggle you don’t have to add to it by abuse, that’s extra, that’s trying to hurt someone.
I wonder what the statistics would be if every one who was abused as a little child came forward.
Some do better than others hiding the pain, but it’s there just the same. It is a viscous circle for some, as they age the abused become the abuser’s. It’s so sad.
God has shown me the falleness of this world through the light of His Son, Jesus.
You may not think there is a God or you may be angry with him. I was. It’s ok he can handle it. Go ahead and yell and scream, let it out. He’s a big boy. He’ll help you, he loves you.
He is the only one willing to stay with you through it all and have an answer for you when you are ready for it.
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