What are the big, and little, responsibilities of a man who has kids?

“The LORD God took the man and put [placed] him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.” ~ Genesis 2:15

The garden was Adams responsibility. The big and little responsibilities were to, “work it and take care of it.”

The garden, for dads, IS the kids.

The big and little responsibilities as compared to those kids are our jobs, work, or other endeavors, that we need to do to support those little buggers.

As I feel my way through this new terrain of social media, taking it slow like I would through a flooded section of timber in a new hunting territory, and as I continue to work on my message and brand… theemergingman.com and The Definite Dad book, and philosophy, I find myself becoming upset at some content from other men I follow.

The content is usually a simple post in regards to how busy they are versus finding time for their kids.

The latest one referenced “The Power of Presence,” in the moment, and having to learn that as a skill set.

I’ve been seeing this, or it’s many versions, more and more. I can find common ground on the fact that as a dad you have to be present, like I say in my book, “you HAVE to BE there.”

But here is where I veer off, split, or see it differently than the average bear… to be present is not for a moment or moments. Like I’ve said, and written, “we as dads, need to… BE PRESENT, ON PURPOSE, WITH INTENTIONALITY.”

We need to be an ever presence in there lives. We do need to be on the look out for those individual, teachable moments that come up when you are spending enough time with them for sure. The goal in my estimation is to be with them, so much so, that your presence becomes a fact for them, they KNOW that you will be there. Almost always. I say almost always because I understand life. Your kids don’t yet. They just come to know you are always there, unless you have to work late… once in awhile.

Our work is not our MAIN responsibility. Our work is a supporting responsibility for the main responsibility which is our kids. (My message is about dads and sons. The overall message of a man carving out time for his wife, and his daughter,(s/kids) is just as important… but one thing at a time.)

Here is the definition again.

Question: “How much time do you think the average person spends with their kids today?”

Another question: “How much time do you really spend with your own kids?”

How Much Time Do You Actually Spend With Your Children? (My Answer Was Shocking)

As SavvyMom wrote on her blog, “Don’t figure it out… it’s depressing.”

My journey, and research, have shown me what needs to happen is a “mind-shift.” A different perspective of your current terrain needs to be attained.

As a man you have to provide for your kids. If you’re doing that currently… kudos. If you’re not… get on it! The main provision though… is you.

Part of my mission, calling, and philosophy is to teach people to, “stop and think.” Stop… and look at you’re situation. Think… about your current mind-set about your kids.

The tactic to ‘stop and think,’ for me, causes me to become aware mentally of my situation and allows my mind to slow down so that I can assess what is going on.

I also recommend to folks that keeping a journal and making life notes is a great tool to help you become the best you, as it forces you to examine your life, and helps to make the small incremental changes that lead to that better life and version of our self.

Something inside me became angry when I read that last post. My admiration for today’s men who are online-preneuers that tout manliness and character, goes to crap, when I see that their focus is on their perceived image and business… instead of their kids.

Their tone is usually one of a very watered down, weak, and mealy mouthed excuse.

I think they are missing the point.

For me as I learn how to communicate in this space, and contemplate adding ‘life coach’ to my resume, I know I have to understand my own feelings first.

Maybe my fired up emotions are just a sign that I’m on the right path. That the message is important. That I need to hone my own skills in talking to, and potentially teaching, a generation of young men what it means to be a man, and a definite dad.