Even though he and his family went through priestly training as they were in the line of Aaron, Benaiah often talked to God to see if he was there. Being young, only ten years old, he didn’t really know if he was… for sure.
His father it seemed was devout, but Benaiah felt it was more out of duty and responsibility, he wasn’t sure about that either though.
His Grandfather on the other hand talked about God so fondly and so comfortably that Benaiah was sure those two had met before.
His town of Kabzeel was on the edge of the wilderness and as Benaiah’s family had sheep he had the responsibility at a young age to tend the sheep out in the desert… out in the solitude of God’s creation.
This gave Benaiah ample time to scout out his immediate surroundings and some lands a bit farther away and he became very knowledgeable of the lay of the land.
One day when he was playing in some caves, far away from home, by himself. He looked into a particular round cave tunnel and he thought he could fit. So he headed into the tunnel. Even though as he entered, it was a tight fit, he did fit though… until about half way.
His shoulders became stuck, he could neither go back nor move himself forward. This was the first time Benaiah felt real fear, deathly fear, “no one knows where I am!”, fear…
“I’m gonna die!” fear.
The anxiety was so acute and the danger so real that it made him freeze as his mind raced.
When the initial anxiety abated he determined that panicking, crying or giving up were not options. The only thing to do was to get calm, real calm and talk to God, a God he didn’t really know existed, even for all the training his father and grandfather had given him.
After praying and becoming relaxed he could feel his right shoulder was not as tight as a moment ago and so with a determinedly slow pace he pushed his right arm forward, there was some pain but the arm was moving and then with a release of pressure his right arm was out in front of him and he found he could move forward.
There was daylight ahead coming from above, an opening that he saw from the tunnel entrance, he could make it to there and get out. With slow progress he inched forward and made it to the shaft of light and found to his delight that the water had created a type of depression and washed out an area large enough for him to stand up in.
He stretched out and felt relief.
He could look up and see the blue sky through the cracks that the pile of rocks made and he determined to push the rock out of the way nearest to him so he could climb out.
He tested the rocks first, they felt like iron, like a modern day storm runoff water grate.
He then steeled himself to push with all of his might and when he did the rock only shifted a little. With one more attempt he had to resign himself to the fact that he just wasn’t strong enough to move the rock overhead and so he was stuck…
The anxiety struck again and for a brief moment he didn’t know what he was going to do. He didn’t like the anxiety, it would make him freeze with fear.
He looked down the tunnel he had gotten stuck in and thought to himself, “God showed me how I can fit, I’ll go back the way I came.” And he did.
He did not tell his mother or anyone else for that matter about the story until he was an adult. He almost gave her a heart attack when he did.
Once knowing he could fit, Benaiah liked the confidence that knowing about a thing brings about. It was far better than being frozen with fear by his anxious thoughts.
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