The Emerging Man Chronicles: Success, What is It?Success Emerging

As I started my ‘Emerging Man’ journey the most pressing topic that came to my mind was,

“What is and how do you define success?”

Using The Art Of Manliness blog as a start it was pretty clear that everybody has two definitions of success.

1. A public opinion i.e. ‘CUBS WIN WORLD SERIES!!’
2. A private opinion, what ever that means to them and I found is as varied as the people themselves.

There is a third opinion and that is a judgement of your neighbor, co-worker or kid. It is a negative opinion and so I am leaving that out today.

Now as I have been ’emerging’ for a while I really struggled with thinking that I have been successful. I mean I struggle with looking at my life and thinking I have been successful at anything.

I have opened and closed a hand full of service companies.

I have not progressed as well financially as I had hoped for a guy who works as hard as I do.

I can paint but ain’t no artist.

I can fix a car but ain’t no mechanic.

I can trap animals rather well and that company seemed to just run out of customers no matter what I did.

If just trying is successful well then maybe I am.

Is that enough whining for you yet? It is for me.

Now through all this ’emerging man’ searching and walking with God, at one point I had the sneaking suspicion that he was letting me ‘get it out of my system’.

Did you ever do that with your kids? I have with mine.

So eventually I stopped. I stopped starting companies, I stepped down from volunteering, to keep my day job I stepped down from management and offered a solution to the issue at hand that my company accepted and I took a job that is very satisfying in a ‘manly way’ for me. I am a front end loader operator, working outside every day and helping customers with their items. In a word, I became satisfied. I feel good. My ulcer is gone. I sleep good. I’m exercising. Trying to eat right and do some self improvement.

Then this fall during a grouse hunt with my dog Gibson I thought I found what ‘success’ was.

We had made a walk and this particular walk takes about an hour and a half and we had saved this walk for the end of the day as we headed back to the car.

Not a bird all day. Not a bird! We only managed two wild flushes that as every grouse hunter knows, you only hear those and never see them.

So, back to this last walk. We were just about to the main logging road the car was parked on and I was like, “It’s now or never.”

I had almost given up when right at the main road off to the left Gibson “got birdy”. Gibson did real good getting the scent and moving to the left. As I moved to the right to get a better angle a bird got up and went quartering across the logging road. Yep, missed! As Gibson lunged at the first bird a second bird got up. He went straight up. He went straight up into a large aspen tree and landed on a branch about twenty feet up. It was the opening weekend and very leafy out, you could just make the bird out.

Now I don’t know what your moral ethics are when grouse hunting or your thoughts on shooting birds out of tree’s. But he wasn’t going no where!

So my dad’s 12 ga pump thundered and I was ‘off the schneid!’

Now I didn’t feel successful when Gibson worked real well and I didn’t feel successful missing the first bird or even when I shot the second bird or when the dog went and got it.

I didn’t feel successful until I was walking back to the car and I could feeel the warmth and weight of the bird in my hunting coats left pocket.

“That’s it, that’s it right there, yea boy. I don’t have to shoot another grouse all year!” I THOUGHT.